Okay, let's talk about money.

As an artist, I'd like to say a few words about how our money looks. To put it bluntly, American currency is dull, dull, dull. What do you find on every single denomination of folding money? That's right -- politicians. But it's no wonder, considering who it is who decides whose picture ends up on the money.

And the portraits are in black and white, usually with very serious expressions (Otherwise it would be funny money). But in recent years, there's been an attempt to spruce things up, under the guise of making it harder to counterfeit. The portraits got bigger, the design became asymmetrical, some look like they have a coffee stain and, with each new "improvement," they look more like play money.

European money used to be interesting. Take the French currency. They had pictures of poets, authors, engineers, and artists on their money. I think that this is a great way to honor the people who make this sort of contribution to society. (In America, you can get your 15 minutes of fame on a fleeting postage stamp.) It's a shame that these European currencies lost their uniqueness when they got merged into the Euro.

So here are some suggestions for dressing up American currency. Let's start with Mr. Washington, our first president. Here he's been given some color. Starting with a nice tan that intimates he spends time outdoors, not like those other politicians who spend their time avoiding the sun. And the blue eyes, to give a real soulful look. Think of how much nicer the one dollar bill would look with this rendering of George.

Oh, and one more suggestion:

George, would it kill you to smile?